Three months in Germany – a journey coming back from China

It has been three months since I moved back from China to Germany. My family and I spent four and a half years in the north-east of China, living and working there.

It was not the first time my wife and I had packed our lives into boxes and crossed a border. But this time was different. The last three years were heavily marked by Covid, and it was the first time we moved with our daughter. (Her move to China doesn’t count: she was barely one, only just able to walk and, frankly, not consulted.)

Culture shock, reverse edition

You would think moving to Germany would be easy for me. I was born here, raised here, speak the language and know exactly which rubbish goes in which bin. And yet it was a real culture shock.

The two countries are vastly different in language, culture and daily life. After almost five years in China, we had grown used to the fast pace, the unique cuisine and the bustling streets. Now we were in a country, and especially in its smaller cities, known for a slower pace of life, precise planning (some call it bureaucracy) and efficiency.

What I hadn’t expected was how remarkable it would be to see my own home country through new eyes, my wife’s and my daughter’s. Things I had stopped noticing years ago suddenly needed explaining, and some of them, I had to admit, were hard to defend.

During the first three months we deliberately played tourists in our own country: Germany’s cultural heritage, its famous cuisine, natural landmarks within easy reach, and plenty more.

The good news

Overall, these first three months after five years in China have been a unique and enriching experience. This is not only about China, of course; I have moved back to Germany from other countries before. But Germany and China are so different in so many ways that it is a fantastic opportunity, especially for our daughter, to discover a new culture, learn a new language and widen her view of the world.

The less good news (a.k.a. the to-do list)

Enthusiasm, however, comes with paperwork. A family in transition faces plenty of hurdles: housing (one of the biggest challenges for anyone coming from abroad), kindergarten, school, settling into a new work environment, getting used to local food and building a new social circle, to name a few. None of it fits into a single appointment.

It is hardest for the smallest member of the family. Moving to a new country as a child means different customs, traditions, social norms and daily routines, and it can mean homesickness and missing old friends and family.

And still, something nice happens along the way: as a family you grow closer. Different cultures, different experiences, different language skills, different personalities – and yet family turns out to be the biggest support system you have.

Over the next few weeks I will cover different aspects of this transition, from my perspective, my wife’s and my daughter’s. We are all so different, and all of it is worth recalling and reflecting on.

Bread and Rice is an ongoing series about life between two cultures: a German husband, his Chinese wife, and the small negotiations, misunderstandings and discoveries that fill a bicultural life.